i think she looks fine. people assuming thin girls have eating disorders is frustrating. i have a naturally consistent bmi of 17.5 and i eat. that girl is far from too thin, judging by her muscle tone, she looks reasonably healthy.
I said nothing about her having an eating disorder, and your irritation at the inference is misplaced.
I said she needs to eat something, implying I would not find her attractive without a bit more meat on her bones. I'm aware we can't all be the BMI we'd like to be--some people have a harder time than others staying small enough, others have a hard time gaining weight they might like to. That doesn't mean we can't have our preferences, as darxus likes to point out.
Nobody said you implied anybody had an eating disorder. While it was in the general vicinity of your comment, moxie77 and I were just discussing the unfortunate reasons one might assume you had, while I was waiting to find out what you actually thought.
nah, i wasn't trying to be pissy, it's just that 'needs a sandwhich' line that i get all of the time. when someone says that to me, i tend to take it as an implication that they think i don't eat enough, not 'i think you'd be sexier if you ate a sandwhich, as you would then have more curves, which i enjoy." for the record, i am perfectly happy with the fact that i have the body of an 11 year old boy and wouldn't change even if i could. i just think people don't quite understand that comments about a thin girl's weight can be just as hurtful as those about a heavy girl.
Personal preference (I recognize we all have 'em, and don't always understand others'). I tend to like people not-too-big, not-too-small...about average, proportionate, with some muscle tone. If they look like I'd break them by wrestling with 'em, it's no good.
She's just a bit too skinny for me to consider her attractive (though, having the hips makes her curvy and more appealing). However, I don't mean she's repulsive by any means. She's not so skinny that my reaction is disgust, just that I want to feed her. Now, playing up the "jailbait" part is a bit of a squick, but I can't do much about biology...
In short, I find some of your viewpoints on the female body to be offensive and objectifying. I'm sure there are others that don't. It's very possible that in your varied social interactions, you come across as far more open minded and understanding. However, with only your LJ entries to go by as that's the only way I see you...
Most of what you post is very materialistic about things you've acquired, which is cool, but doesn't give me much of an insight into you or much to empathize with. Once in a while it will be something about animals, and pretty often it's been about women, shaving habits, the female figure/breasts, and some of your points of view on that offend me.
I don't dislike you as a person, but I do feel that LJ is not the best mode for me to understand you as a person, as I think I'm getting a bad read of you from it.
Your perception of me from my LJ may be entirely accurate. I have mixed feelings about this.
Of course I have no objection to you deciding it is better for you to not read my LJ for whatever reason.
I try really hard to not complain on LJ. So I guess much of what you might empathize with goes un-written. I try to focus on what is happy and good in life, because I have enough difficulty with downward spirals without going on about unpleasantness. In fact, I have an exceptional ability to wipe them from my memory. I consider it a survival trait.
My feelings on the female body are pretty simple. I find thin, thoroughly shaved women much more arousing. Others don't do much for me. If that, which I cannot change, offends you... I would find your response inappropriate. Those criteria do not apply to what I find beautiful, or who I enjoy being around.
It bothers me how finding thin women attractive seems socially unacceptable.
I suppose I could go into more detail on what they do to my brain. It has a lot to do with grip, and maneuverability, and, well, what those things do to my brain.
I post a lot about "things [I've] acquired" because I find them to be a very useful and harmless form of self medication. So yes, they are as important to me as it seems, but not because I value material things so much. I value their impact on my sanity so much.
I don't find your tastes in women offensive nor do I think thin women should be pariahs. Some of the ways that your words have been framed come off as what is 'best' in a woman and feel a little like putting down other body types, which can be difficult to deal with. That in particular is the issue I have found difficult to deal with, and some inferences that what you find specifically attractive is 'good' whereas an unshaven body is 'bad'. So, specifically I find nothing offensive there, only in the way it's been framed now and then.
The site in particular that you mentioned is a little offensive to me, as I personally had the title 'jailbait' for a long time and find it appaling. But that really isn't much of the issue.
I can understand not wanting to complain about negative things; as I said, I don't find any of your other posts in any way negative or upsetting, I just feel that I don't get much of a scope of staying in touch with you through it.
"And yes, I recognize everyone's right to do whatever they like with their body hair, and I'm all for people doing whatever makes them happy." - http://darxus.livejournal.com/136152.html, January 2006
Did I miss any relevant posts?
What can I do to make it clear that these are only my preferences, and not judgments?
As I said in another comment, the "jailbait" url is unfortunate. But didn't seem to be worth re-hosting.
I'll have to think about posting stuff to keep people more in touch with me. Thanks.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
Just your personal preference, or do you actually think it's wrong for her to look like that?
Edited at 2007-11-24 05:36 pm (UTC)
I said she needs to eat something, implying I would not find her attractive without a bit more meat on her bones. I'm aware we can't all be the BMI we'd like to be--some people have a harder time than others staying small enough, others have a hard time gaining weight they might like to. That doesn't mean we can't have our preferences, as
I have placed no irritation at you.
Thanks.
i just think people don't quite understand that comments about a thin girl's weight can be just as hurtful as those about a heavy girl.
She's just a bit too skinny for me to consider her attractive (though, having the hips makes her curvy and more appealing). However, I don't mean she's repulsive by any means. She's not so skinny that my reaction is disgust, just that I want to feed her. Now, playing up the "jailbait" part is a bit of a squick, but I can't do much about biology...
The jailbait thing is unfortunate.
I'm right there with you, D. [gurgle]
Most of what you post is very materialistic about things you've acquired, which is cool, but doesn't give me much of an insight into you or much to empathize with. Once in a while it will be something about animals, and pretty often it's been about women, shaving habits, the female figure/breasts, and some of your points of view on that offend me.
I don't dislike you as a person, but I do feel that LJ is not the best mode for me to understand you as a person, as I think I'm getting a bad read of you from it.
Gypsy
Your perception of me from my LJ may be entirely accurate. I have mixed feelings about this.
Of course I have no objection to you deciding it is better for you to not read my LJ for whatever reason.
I try really hard to not complain on LJ. So I guess much of what you might empathize with goes un-written. I try to focus on what is happy and good in life, because I have enough difficulty with downward spirals without going on about unpleasantness. In fact, I have an exceptional ability to wipe them from my memory. I consider it a survival trait.
My feelings on the female body are pretty simple. I find thin, thoroughly shaved women much more arousing. Others don't do much for me. If that, which I cannot change, offends you... I would find your response inappropriate. Those criteria do not apply to what I find beautiful, or who I enjoy being around.
It bothers me how finding thin women attractive seems socially unacceptable.
I suppose I could go into more detail on what they do to my brain. It has a lot to do with grip, and maneuverability, and, well, what those things do to my brain.
I post a lot about "things [I've] acquired" because I find them to be a very useful and harmless form of self medication. So yes, they are as important to me as it seems, but not because I value material things so much. I value their impact on my sanity so much.
I hope you reply back again.
I don't find your tastes in women offensive nor do I think thin women should be pariahs. Some of the ways that your words have been framed come off as what is 'best' in a woman and feel a little like putting down other body types, which can be difficult to deal with. That in particular is the issue I have found difficult to deal with, and some inferences that what you find specifically attractive is 'good' whereas an unshaven body is 'bad'. So, specifically I find nothing offensive there, only in the way it's been framed now and then.
The site in particular that you mentioned is a little offensive to me, as I personally had the title 'jailbait' for a long time and find it appaling. But that really isn't much of the issue.
I can understand not wanting to complain about negative things; as I said, I don't find any of your other posts in any way negative or upsetting, I just feel that I don't get much of a scope of staying in touch with you through it.
Thank you.
In this post I said "my favorite", not "the best".
"That doesn't mean we can't have our preferences, as darxus likes to point out." -
"...what is most important is whatever makes you happy." - http://darxus.livejournal.com/194659.ht
"And yes, I recognize everyone's right to do whatever they like with their body hair, and I'm all for people doing whatever makes them happy."
- http://darxus.livejournal.com/136152.ht
Did I miss any relevant posts?
What can I do to make it clear that these are only my preferences, and not judgments?
As I said in another comment, the "jailbait" url is unfortunate. But didn't seem to be worth re-hosting.
I'll have to think about posting stuff to keep people more in touch with me. Thanks.