My quote file is now split into three pieces. This page, a Big Quotes page, and an IRC Quotes page.

The reason is because I'm using this file as a source for quotes in the IRC bot I wrote recently, and full-page quotes get kinda annoying in an IRC channel. Plus the IRC quotes don't work too well in IRC either.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

All I want out of the Universe is 10 minutes with the source 
code and a quick recompile.
	- unknown

One death is a tragedy... million is statistics. 
That is why I never stop at one.

Respect is the one precious thing in the universe.
If that is lost, then all is lost.
	- Dalvenjah

A lost ounce of gold may be found,
a lost moment of time, never.
	- Donwulff

Some are born to move the world, to live their fantasies.
But most of us just dream about the things we'd like to be.
	- Rush, Losing It, Signals

The early bird gets the worm -
but the patient coyote who waits can have them both.

No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife
between the shoulder blades will seriously
cramp his style.
	- Vlad Taltos, _Jhereg_

Flying is the art of throwing yourself at
the ground and missing.
	- The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Got my sights on the stars, won't get that far
but I'll try anyway...
	- Rush

If anything on this ship is more important
than my ego, I want it hunted down and shot!
	- Zaphod Beeblebrox, Hitchiker's Guide

I don't CARE if you're on fire! Stop SCREAMING like that!
	- Donwulff

The Internet, of course, is more than just a place to find 
pictures of people having sex with dogs. 
	- Time Magazine, 3 July 1995 

Time is an illusion.  Lunchtime doubly so.
	- Ford Prefect, Hitchiker's Guide

Lo!  Men have become the tool of their tools.
	- Henry David Thoreau

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed 
people can change the world.  Indeed, it is the only thing 
that ever has."  
	- Margaret Mead

"Nothing happens unless first a dream." 
	-Carl Sandburg

"The dumber people think you are,
the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them."
	- William Clayton

I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what 
I will be.
	-Albert Einstein 

He's YOUR god, they're YOUR rules.  YOU burn in hell.

We only truly get old when we lose our imagination.
	- Kazin

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark 
side and it holds the universe together...

"You know, talking. That other thing you do with your
 mouth to make sex more enjoyable." 
	- MegaZone 

"Feeling claustrophobic
Like the walls are closing in.
Blood stains on my hands and
I don't know where I've been.
I'm in trouble for the things
I haven't got to yet.
I'm sharpening the axe and my
palms are getting wet."
	- "Sweating Bullets" by Megadeth

No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right
to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect 
themselves against tyranny in government.
	- Thomas Jefferson, Proposed Virginia Constitution, 
	  1776, Jefferson Papers 344

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to
learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for
their apparent disinclination to do so.
	- Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

"Pray, n:. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in 
behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy." 
	- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) 

"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his 
hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." 
	- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956) 

"Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence."

"If at first you don't succeed, 
destroy all evidence that you had tried."

"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately 
explained by stupidity"
	- Hanlon's Razor

"The typical Nintendo game involves controlling a little man 
who runs around the screen trying to stay alive while numerous 
powerful and inexplicably hostile forces try to kill him; in 
other words, it's exactly like real life."
	- Dave Barry

"Those without creative minds and agile fingers are of course 
welcome to hurry up with my fries. And they'll probably use 
a GUI to take my order, too." 
	- Tom Christiansen

"Today's scientists have substituted mathematics for 
experiments, and they wander off through equation after 
equation, and eventually build a structure which has no 
relation to reality."
	-  Nikola Tesla

"Do you -really- need to be using space on the web? 
Just because you can get free home space on a server, 
doesn't mean you HAVE TO."
 - Tet Solfire

"Heal a man once, and he will expect to be healed every time. 
But let him heal others, and he will expect nothing evermore." 

"It's always great, when you can be amazed at your own stupidity."
	- Al

"It's not your fault that you're always wrong."
	- Marilyn Manson

"When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl."

"A society that will trade a little liberty for a little order
will deserve neither and lose both."
	- B. Franklin

"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up."
	- informal motto of the NASA onboard software develoment group

Kaa's Law: In any sufficiently large group of people, most are idiots.

"A nerd who hasn't learned anything in 6 months is a paperweight."

"If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments."

"Thanks to modern chemistry, sleep is now optional"
	- The Descendents

"Programming X-Windows is like trying to find the square 
root of pi using roman numerals. "

"Professionalism has no place in art, and hacking is art."
	- JWZ